age gap relationships. Advice needed!

[shadowfeet]

Okay please be honest, i won't take it personally i promise.

Why would a 20 year old man (almost 21) be interested in a 16 year old girl? Realistically, wouldn't he think she is too young? I know it's only a 4/5 year age gap but i'm just thinking, wouldn't he rather be with someone a little closer to his age?

[Ange31]

Call me old fashioned but I believe you shouldn't get into a relationship with someone at the age of 16. It's too much, too young. I wouldn't have said that when I was 16 b/c I was head over heels in love with a boy :) but now I see that I was too young and it was a lot of drama and he broke my heart. I married my husband when I was 19 and he was 21...Even though I was still young, he had graduated college and had a job. He helped me along and I finished college. We've been married 11 years now. We were best friends FIRST...for probably 5 years we were friends. Only the last two years did we actually date officially...and we did not live together or anything like that until our wedding.
This guy you talk about may not necessarily be a weirdo...it's not a crazy age difference BUT you are still young. If he really loves you he'll wait for you to grow up and finish school. AND he won't push you into a physical relationship.
What do your parents think about him?

[shadowfeet]

I haven't known him long. I only met him recently, and today he asked me out on a date. My mum knows his age, she hasn't really said anything. I guess she knows she can trust me... But to be honest i am not sure. I asked him if my age concerns him but he says he doesn't understand why it would be a problem.
But it doesn't make sense to me. I think he thought i was older cos he seemed suprised when he asked my age.

[sweetness514]

As far as you being too young I do agree with Ange as far as getting seriously involved now with any boy of any age, but if you just plan on dating and have fun, I say it could be good for you and of course you need that at any age, especially at 16. I didn't date until I was 17 but I was a late bloomer and not ready but everyone is different.

As long as you take it slow, get to know him first and do what YOU are ready for, as well as not forget about your interest like your music and school.

I don't understand why you think he wouldn't be interseted bc you are younger though. If a girl is very mature like you maybe he doesn't see age that much. This is cute please keep us posted if you go out with him and I hope you have a nice date you deserve to have fun and ENJOY you teen years.... And kudos about asking him if he thought age would be a problem, keep it honest and don't be afraid to say how you feel.

[Jill]

Originally Posted by shadowfeet

Okay please be honest, i won't take it personally i promise.

Why would a 20 year old man (almost 21) be interested in a 16 year old girl? Realistically, wouldn't he think she is too young? I know it's only a 4/5 year age gap but i'm just thinking, wouldn't he rather be with someone a little closer to his age?

When I was 17 I was dating someone who was about 5 years older then I was. I don't think age plays a part in having feelings for someone if the attraction is there its there =) Do you like him? If so how come if he is 4 or 5 years older? See same reason LOL! Keep us posted on how this goes.

Jill

[shadowfeet]

Thanks everyone...
To be honest i have sort of gone off him because he is texting me too much, and he's a bit too clingy considering i've only really had one proper conversation with him.

[Ange31]

You are a smart girl shadowfeet :) Clingy is not a good sign.

Hammerhead...welcome. Click on the far left hand side blue words where it says dizzylounge main discussion (or something like that) Once there do you see a place you can click that says "new thread" on the right hand side above the current topics listings? Push that and then tell us about yourself.

[HAMMERHEAD]

Hi Ange31...Thanks for the welcome...but I'm not real good on computer. Haven't figured out how this works yet, but I guess I'll keep at it... Bye

[rockthief]

clingy, eh? that means he is unsure of himself and seeking a younger woman to boost his ego. NO! Go have some fun with kids your age. You don't need the pressure of taking care of this guy

[shadowfeet]

Rock thief - You are right. I actually can't stand this guy now. He has pretty much turned into a stalker! Sometime this week, i will speak to him and tell him not to text me or talk to me again. He's a creep.